Friendlessness or “having no friends” phenomenon is becoming more common nowadays. In the United States, for example, data shows that the percentage of people reporting they have no close friends has drastically increased from 3 percent in the 1990s to 12 percent in 2021. Often, when we hear the term “having no friends,” we immediately associate it with loneliness, social failure, or emotional deficiency, but that’s not always the case.
Reported by Psychology Today on Tuesday (10/6/2025), a recent study published in the Canadian Review of Sociology in 2025 offers a more in-depth look into this matter. Researchers interviewed 21 individuals, ranging from 18 to 75 years old, who identified themselves as having few or no friends, and the results varied. While some participants described the condition of having no friends as painful, others felt the opposite. Take Mike, a 72-year-old retired police officer, for example.
He casually stated, “I am my best friend. I have many hobbies. I don’t spend much time thinking about having no friends.” Mike’s response opens a new perspective that solitude is not always synonymous with sadness or lack. So, what makes responses to this condition of “having no friends” so diverse? Researchers believe that how we perceive loneliness is greatly influenced by the cultural narrative we live in.
For example in North America, there is high regard for independence, but on the other hand, loneliness is stigmatized. This contradiction is especially visible in how men and women experience and report the condition of having no friends. Men may tend to avoid admitting loneliness because it can threaten their identity as independent individuals who aren’t emotionally fragile. On the other hand, women may report loneliness even when they have a wide social network, possibly due to bearing emotional labor or feeling culturally marginalized as they age.
If you feel like you have no friends or secretly carry the shame of having “too few” friends, reframing strategies can help. Firstly, be aware of cultural pressures, not just feelings. Ask yourself if the negative feelings about having no friends are solely yours or if they stem from what society says your life should be like. Living in a world where “having friends” is often equated with being loved or successful is a social construct, not absolute truth.
For instance, Sean, a 32-year-old lawyer who participated in the study, rejects the caricature portrayal of people without friends as “crazy sociopaths.” He prioritizes other metrics of a good life like career and family. If you are heavily focused on work, caretaking responsibilities, or just personal life and hobbies, ask yourself: What am I actually choosing instead? That choice might deserve more recognition than what you give it.
